The Struggle is Real

My life is crazy.  How’s your life?  We all feel this way.  We all regularly feel pushed to our limits and beyond.  We so often look around and judge others when we feel this way.  I know your life is hard, but it is not as hard as mine.  

I’m sitting here in my home office trying to get work done and the distraction is constant.  7 kids. The phone won’t stop buzzing.  Everyone just needs 10 seconds of my time.  I just have one question.  It’s not a big ask.  The sheer audio volume.  

I’m feeling frazzled and frayed.  

How do I overcome it?  

Deep breaths

Didn’t help.

Focus on work.  

Didn’t help.

Prayed a psalm.

That helped!  

Many years ago I sang Psalm 23 during my collegiate training.  It is indelibly etched in my mind.  While I can recognize intellectually that it was not, the situation sure felt like the valley of the shadow of death!

I often struggle with taking my problems to God.  They seem so trivial.  I think to my children.  My kids would be arguing over something small but huge to them.  They want me to bring justice to a situation and pick which of them was right.  I would ask, “Is there blood, bones, or bodies?”  Is someone hurt?  If not, work through it on your own.  Sometimes, this was good parenting.  I was giving them an opportunity to work through conflict while actively listening and helping.  Other times I would say it because I just did not want to be bothered.  I’m busy!

Doesn’t God feel that way about me?  I know there are times he wants to help, but he is also busy.

No, that is not God!  That is a lie from the enemy working to keep me from growing my relationship with my Father.  He is a greater Father than I ever was or could be.  He has an infinite capacity to be intimately involved with all of us at the same time.  He is living in me!

If I’m being honest, my unwillingness to go to God is way more about me than it is about him.  I am ashamed that I need help.  My pride says I can figure it out on my own.  I have to be humble to go to him, and that is hard enough when it is something I can’t overcome. I often do not have the emotional capacity to be humble over things that are small.  It is easier in the moment to push ahead on my own than to reach out to him.

Stupid. Selfish. Ineffective. These words describe me in that moment.

God, humble me.  I am so much happier and full of joy when I am in regular contact with you; when I am asking for your help.  Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guards my heart in Christ Jesus!  Bring the circumstances necessary to make me humble myself before you.  (I’m in trouble now!)