Power of Confession

I grew up Catholic.  I clearly remember the first time I practiced the sacrament of confession.  I walked into a little booth.  I told the priest some things that I had done wrong.  He gave me some prayers to say.  I went about my day.  I didn’t really understand what was going on.  It was something I was supposed to do because the grown-ups said I should.

I went to confession intermittently throughout my childhood.  The grown-ups said I should.  As I began attending protestant services and learning their traditions, I left the catholic church and the practice of confession.  I began practicing confession the way these new “grown-ups” said I should.   Though I was a teenager at the time, it still felt that way when I heard those more experienced than me teach.  “God forgive me”.  It was something I said only to God, not to man.  I didn’t get specific.  

Through circumstances in my life, God has renewed my prayer life.  Though it has been painful, I am grateful.  The most surprising part of this renewal has been confession.  I had begun using the Anglican Book of Common Prayer through the Daily Prayer app.  It has a daily prayer of confession.

Most merciful God, I confess that I have sinned against you in thought, word, and deed, by what I have done, and by what I have left undone.  

I have not loved you with my whole heart: I have not loved my neighbors as myself.  I am truly sorry and I humbly repent.  

For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on me and forgive me that I may delight in your will, and walk in your ways, to the glory of you name.

Amen

As I pray this, I pause and confess specific sins in the different categories.  Thought, word, and deed.  Done and undone.  Things against my neighbor.  Things against my God.  

It has been liberating.  That last line is so important.  “...that I may delight in your will…”.  Ps. 32 is so powerful in this way.  

It makes me wonder about my Catholic sacrament.  I am finding this great freedom and delight as I confess my sins to God.  For thousands of years, the church has also been confessing sin to one another.  While I have struggled to free myself of the mistakes of the historical church, have I also rejected their wisdom?  Have I thrown the baby out with the bath water?

Honestly, I’m afraid to confess my sins to another.  Will they judge me?  How will they think of me in the same way if they know all the wickedness of my heart?

Am I thinking too little of my brothers and sisters in Christ?  

Lord give me the courage to find a confessor.  May the intimacy we experience through sharing grow us close together.  May we be glad in the LORD and rejoice, shouting for joy as we conform our hearts to Christ.  

Blessed Are the Forgiven

32 A MASKIL OF DAVID. 

            1       Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, 

      whose sin is covered. 

            2       Blessed is the man against whom the LORD counts no iniquity, 

      and in whose spirit there is no deceit. 

            3       For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away 

      through my groaning all day long. 

            4       For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; 

      my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah 

            5       I acknowledged my sin to you, 

      and I did not cover my iniquity; 

                  I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” 

      and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah 

            6       Therefore let everyone who is godly 

      offer prayer to you at a time when you may be found; 

                  surely in the rush of great waters, 

      they shall not reach him. 

            7       You are a hiding place for me; 

      you preserve me from trouble; 

      you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah 

            8       I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; 

      I will counsel you with my eye upon you. 

            9       Be not like a horse or a mule, without understanding, 

      which must be curbed with bit and bridle, 

      or it will not stay near you. 

            10       Many are the sorrows of the wicked, 

      but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD. 

            11       Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, O righteous, 

      and shout for joy, all you upright in heart! 

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016), Ps 32:title–11.